A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Hospital

Happy New Year! I hope 2012 brings us all health and joy (and perhaps two new boobs for me)!

Ok, it’s been awhile, but I’m back in the saddle and I’ve got lots of updating to do. So, let’s go back in time to just after my surgery…

With me out of the hospital, super hubby Pascal had two patients to look after – me and Zeus, one of our two little dogs who was recovering from an eye infection. Pretty manageable, or so we thought.

Shortly after my last blog post, having enjoyed my super yummy dinner and basking in my time outside of the compression bandages, I started having pain and swelling in my abdomen. I called 8-1-1, just like 9-1-1 but for medical non-emergencies, to speak with a nurse, and she said that since I was only one day post-surgery, I should go to Emergency and get checked out. This was at 11 pm, when I was much more ready to head to bed than back to the hospital.

We let the dogs out to do their business in the yard when Pascal noticed that Zena, our other precious pooch, seemed to be having trouble doing what dogs do in a yard. He also recalled that she had a stomach ache the day before. Putting two and two together, he quickly surmised that she might have a ‘blockage’.  Yikes – sounds serious! Nurse Pascal was now at three patients.

We all piled into the car and Pascal, in a rather stressed voice said: “ok, I’m going to drop you off at St. Paul’s Emergency and then take Zena to the 24 hour Animal Hospital”.

While discussing who would be getting dropped off at the hospital (Zena!) and who would have Pascal accompany them (me!), we started en route. On Kingsway, I recalled that Pascal’s parents had taken our dogs for a walk earlier that day. Maybe they could shed some light on Patient #3.

11:30 pm PST – The Strangest Conversation Ever - translated from French

Pascal: "Mom, I don’t have time to tell you why, but I need to know if Zena pooped on the walk today."

Pascal’s Mom: "Yes, she did."

Pascal: "Excellent news, thanks! Bye!"

So Zena didn’t have a blockage; we figured it was a return of her back problem and Patient #2 (me!) again became the focus. Arriving at St. Paul’s (Mount St. Jo’s ER closes at 8pm), the car and the doggies were left in the parkade and I went to Admitting.

Any time I’ve been to an ER previously, it’s always been a long wait. Now, I know the secret to a quick entrance - arrive wearing your pajamas and looking like hell, one day post- double mastectomy and complaining of abdomen pain and swelling. I was admitted immediately.

By this time, I was exhausted and close to falling asleep on the stretcher I had been assigned. Poor Pascal was not. He was on high alert, monitoring my breathing and trying to keep me awake. He was worried that I had internal bleeding and might slip away before the doctor even arrived.

The doctor, however, was able to allay all our fears. The abdominal pain and swelling was from the hematoma I had suffered on the right side. The fluid was tracking down from the site of the operation to the abdomen and would eventually be reabsorbed. In the meantime, it looked a bit like my right boob had migrated from my chest to my abdomen.

That problem solved, we headed back home for a night of well-deserved rest.

The next day the focus was back on Patient #3 (Zena). She seemed to be doing a bit better, so we crossed our fingers, hoped for the best and asked the doggies if “they could please keep it together while we get through some tough stuff”.

Later that day, Zena’s pain returned and Pascal took her to the vet. While they were gone, I cuddled with Zeus (a.k.a., Patient #1). While petting him, I noticed he had some oddly shaped dirt on his back. After some research, I discovered this patch of oddly shaped dirt was actually flea (ahem) poop. Yuck! So much for the doggies holding it together!

When Pascal and Zena returned with her pain killers and muscle relaxant for her sprained back, I told Pascal the bad news. Patient #1 has a secondary infection – fleas!

Pascal spent the rest of the day washing, clipping and flea treating the dogs, washing and cleaning the entire house, throwing out doggie beds and toys and shopping for new doggie beds and toys. It was not a good day, but the house and dogs sure were clean!

Another day, another night of well-deserved rest. Hopefully, Pascal’s three patients wouldn’t give him any more problems!