The Waiting Game

Since my diagnosis, I have been a very unwilling participant in the waiting game. Waiting for a mammogram and ultrasound, waiting a month for the second biopsy and the agonizing wait to find out about invasiveness, waiting for the MRI and still waiting for the MRI results, waiting for blood test results, waiting to hear about scheduling appointments with oncologists and doctors and anxiously awaiting for those appointments to happen and, finally, waiting for treatment to begin and END. I want to be done with this, I wait to be done with this.

To help cope with all the waiting, I’ve been doing a lot of research into what I can do to lower my risk of recurrence. Knowledge is a cancer slayer’s power.

Diet:

If you are what you eat, I am now a dark leafy green. These veggies, such as kale, collards, and broccoli, have been shown to have major anti-cancer properties.

‘C’ is for curcumin and that’s good enough for me. Curcumin is found in the spice turmeric and is a potent anti-cancer warrior.

Other good stuff: garlic, onions, berries, green tea, omega 3 (EPA & DHA), tomatoes, walnuts. In general, fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes are all good. Lucky for me, I’m already a vegan. I like to think that my vegan diet slowed down the growth of my cancer, keeping it from becoming invasive and spreading.

Sugar is the devil. In response to foods that cause your blood sugar to skyrocket (i.e. sugar, white bread, white rice, anything high on the glycemic index), your body produces insulin. Insulin promotes cell growth and is particularly effective at promoting cancer cell growth. Needless to say, sugar is no longer on the menu for me. This has put a big damper on my baking habit, but I did make some delicious anti-cancer brownies so there’s still hope!

Inflammation has also been shown to promote cancer growth. Inflammation is created in the body when you eat foods to which you have an intolerance. I had food intolerance testing down last January and now I religiously avoid all foods that I have an intolerance to (e.g., wheat, pineapples, kidney beans, pinto beans). Unlike an allergy, food intolerance is difficult to recognize and particularly hard to determine the source of as symptoms may not be immediate or may seem completely unrelated (e.g., a rash).

Toxins:

Are everywhere. These nasty little guys can disrupt normal hormone functions and tend to land in fat deposits. Who knew boobies could be a toxic wasteland?

Some toxins we can’t do too much about, aside from moving to a far away island (Plan B after lotto win). For the time being, I can’t do much about the pollution in Vancouver, but I can change the products I use to reduce the toxic load I’m placing on my body.

A great book called ‘There’s Lead in Your Lipstick’ and given to me by a dear friend (thanks Janet!) is helping me figure out how to look good without putting my health at risk. So far, I’ve gotten rid of all sorts of products made to improve my looks without any consideration for what they’re doing to my insides. How rude! These businesses won’t be getting my $ anymore. It’s not hard to find products that are good for my outsides and insides, so I’m making the change.  Besides, no one even noticed that I stopped wearing mascara weeks ago so it can’t be that important anyway.

Prior to my diagnosis, I suspected that hair dye might not be so good for me. But, I was invincible then – cancer wouldn’t happen to me! Now, I know better. The chemicals in hair dyes are carcinogenic (i.e., cancer causing). Over the past 10 years, I’ve played around with red, blonde, dark brown, but in my efforts to eliminate all carcinogens I’ve given up colouring my hair (gasp!).  Bye bye red, hello, um, dark blonde/light brown?

Now that I’ve stopped colouring my hair, I’ve discovered that I have white racing stripes coming in on the sides. These babies are going to make me look much faster at the Race for the Cure! Check out the link below if you’d like to donate to or join my team, Lisa’s Cancer Slayers:

http://www.runforthecure.com/site/TR/RunfortheCure2012/BCYukon?team_id=21367&pg=team&fr_id=1266

Exercise:

Exercise has been shown to stabilize blood sugar levels, reduce obesity and promote detoxification, thereby reducing the chance of recurrence. Cancer slayers need regular exercise. This Cancer Slayer is now biking to work, doing yoga, walking the Z Team, and trying out Qigong.

Mind-Body Connection:

Considerable research has been done on the connection between the mind and the body. Intuitively, most people realize that a positive outlook feels better and research has shown that this can help reduce the chance of cancer recurrence.

Despair can weaken the immune system and a cancer slayer’s immune system needs to be in fighting form. Yoga helps as does positive thinking, meditation, and visualization.

So, while I wait, wait, wait, I also breathe, breathe, breathe. This too shall pass and I will be better and stronger for it. I’ve also found it has helped me to reframe my goal. Obviously, I want to survive this cancer. But, the word ‘survive’ has such a life and death aspect to it that I’d rather use something else. So, I’m the Cancer Slayer because it’s really no contest, this cancer won’t come close to ending me.

Bye Bye Boobies?

Two good things happened this past week. We finally finished our year-long home renovation project and, more importantly, I had my first appointment with an oncologist. I am so grateful that we aren’t in the middle of renovations for Operation: Kick Cancer’s Ass!

The oncologist I met with is a surgical oncologist; she is the surgeon who will remove my cancer. If I need radiation or chemo, I will need to meet with a medical oncologist who will develop that part of my treatment.

The surgical oncologist and her intern both examined my breast and nipple - my left boob has never been more popular – and noted that my Paget’s doesn’t look bad at all. She also reviewed all my tests to date and, because my cancer is still non-invasive (thank God!), she isn’t recommending radiation or chemo. However, since my cancer is multi-focal (i.e., it’s occurring in two places – the milk ducts and the nipple), I will need a mastectomy. She’s also offering me a bi-lateral mastectomy (bye bye to both boobies), if I want it. The reason for this is that my risk of breast cancer in my other ‘unremarkable’ breast will increase by 1% per year if it’s not removed. So, by the time I reach 60 or 70 years old, my risk will be quite high.

To help me make the decision, I’m being sent for an MRI, which will hopefully give us more information on how far the cancer has spread within the milk ducts in my left breast as well as catch any early cancer in my right breast. Even if there isn’t any cancer in my right breast, I’m still seriously considering the double mastectomy as this definitely isn’t a process I ever want to repeat.

The nurse who was there mentioned that this oncologist has done more breast cancer surgeries than anyone else in BC. I’m happy to know that someone with a lot of experience will be working on me. Apparently, there have been studies showing that the level of experience of the surgeon does have an impact on the outcome of not just the surgery, but the likelihood of recurrence as well.

So what happens when the cancer and boobies are gone? Reconstruction!  It sounds a lot like a renovation project – so I should be good at it (at least the design part!). When radiation and chemo are necessary, breast reconstruction is usually done months after the mastectomy, but when radiation and chemo aren’t required, reconstruction can happen immediately after the mastectomy, during the same surgery. This is what the oncologist is recommending for me.  So, I am being referred to a plastic surgeon to talk about my boobie renovation project.

For me, thinking about reconstruction has been difficult. I’ve never placed much importance on how my breasts looked and certainly never thought about plastic surgery to change them in any way. Now, faced with the prospect of a double mastectomy, I’m forced to think about my body image and how breasts, or the lack thereof, fit into that.

My early thinking on the topic is that I wouldn’t care what everyone thought when they saw my flat chest. I didn’t when I was a late-blooming teen and I certainly won’t now. Yet, I don’t want to be reminded that I had cancer every time I look at my chest, see myself in the mirror, try on clothes, or go swimming.

Second only to fear for my life when we didn’t know the extent of the cancer, grief and mourning for the end of my healthy, cancer-free life has been the most challenging emotion for me. I am still angry at the loss of my ‘invincibility’ at such a young age. So, if by reconstructing my breasts I can regain some of that feeling, forget that any of this happened and banish that damn black cloud forever, I think I will likely go for it.